the passionate life

"they lived each day as their last"
that line keeps haunting me now. am i doing that? i look at my year and i really just want to chalk it up as a total loss, it's hard to see how my year isn't useless. i want to be in a faculty i want to be doing something. i want to be trying my hardest at something and living an excellent life. i'm tired of just living comfortably and doing things that i know i can do, i want to take a chance. i feel like everything i've done this year has kinda been mediocre. like a mediocre Christian and student and friend. i want to live a passionate life and i'm really not passionate about anything i'm doing. i'm not sure how to do that, like i know how to spiritually, but to change my actual life to finding things that i really love. the other voice inside my head is dr. phil (soo annoying) "i want you to get excited about your life". i've found things that i like, but the things i love i don't think are there yet.