it's not ok

i'm sorry to all the ppl that asked me how i was doing today, i lied, i'm not ok. i feel like someone put a thousand pound pack on my back. the spring in my step is gone, i can't taste things anymore, the world has become shades of grey.

i sat on my couch today eating froot loops and watching tv, but even sugar and the carebares couldn't make me happy. i hate this i wanna giggle and enjoy life, but i'm just sooo sad. i guess there's a season a for everything, a season to mourn and be joyful. i pray that the joy will return back to my life. spending time with Jesus is really helping thou.

i got the newspaper today, that was hard. i put it up on my wall next to my pictures of my nephew. mortality is a crazy thing. i think i have more perspective now, i've seen birth and death. i know it should teach me something, or cause me to change my life somehow, but soo far nothing.

my comforts:
Romans 8:26
"In the same way, the Spirit himself helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Romans 8:17
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing witht he glory that will be revealed in us."
Romans 8:28
"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."