Ready to Run
reading week has finally came upon me, ye-haw! not really i'm in the city reading, same as every other week. i guess it feels good to get a chance to catch up, right? oh well i won't be here forever...
there are so many things going through my head right now, but for now i'll just pick one. k, so i gotta just throw this one out there, is anyone else completely afraid of their future? not that i think horrible things will happen or i won't be happy, i know i will i'm just scared of it now, ya know? like i really want to finish school and teach somewhere 'smaller' and live my simple life.... but the thought of this makes me hyperventaliate!!! i feel as if how i'm setting up my life is painting me into a corner; its the place i most want to be, but still it's a corner!! which i would have to stay.
it's no surprise to me or anyone that this is how i feel, but lately it seems to be bolded!! and this has to result from the upcoming valentines day celebrations. I know i should be sad about being all alone or wanting to celebrate all the past/present 'loves' of my life, but all i feel is fear. a wise man once told me that "desperation doesn't look good on anyone".. soo true. i went to winkler last weekend, haha actually spend time there, not just coulee or altona. and i saw it, all the single guys with that look in their eyes.... ekk you know the look!! :S
i spend a good chunck of the weekend with my sister and saw a different world. things are so different once your married. we went to look at furniture for her house and i realized that she has to pick out things that Nathan likes too, oh dear that's tough. and all the responsibilites and relationships are so much work...
i'm going to be 21 soon, and it seems as if that should mean that i should be grown up or at least wanting to be there. i'm so thankful i have 3 years left of school cause all i want to do is sit here, hold on tight to my chair and never grow up!!!
as usual it always comes down to country music, and the dixie chicks put it best:
"when that boy gets that look in his eyes i'm gonna be ready this time, ready to RUN!!"
there are so many things going through my head right now, but for now i'll just pick one. k, so i gotta just throw this one out there, is anyone else completely afraid of their future? not that i think horrible things will happen or i won't be happy, i know i will i'm just scared of it now, ya know? like i really want to finish school and teach somewhere 'smaller' and live my simple life.... but the thought of this makes me hyperventaliate!!! i feel as if how i'm setting up my life is painting me into a corner; its the place i most want to be, but still it's a corner!! which i would have to stay.
it's no surprise to me or anyone that this is how i feel, but lately it seems to be bolded!! and this has to result from the upcoming valentines day celebrations. I know i should be sad about being all alone or wanting to celebrate all the past/present 'loves' of my life, but all i feel is fear. a wise man once told me that "desperation doesn't look good on anyone".. soo true. i went to winkler last weekend, haha actually spend time there, not just coulee or altona. and i saw it, all the single guys with that look in their eyes.... ekk you know the look!! :S
i spend a good chunck of the weekend with my sister and saw a different world. things are so different once your married. we went to look at furniture for her house and i realized that she has to pick out things that Nathan likes too, oh dear that's tough. and all the responsibilites and relationships are so much work...
i'm going to be 21 soon, and it seems as if that should mean that i should be grown up or at least wanting to be there. i'm so thankful i have 3 years left of school cause all i want to do is sit here, hold on tight to my chair and never grow up!!!
as usual it always comes down to country music, and the dixie chicks put it best:
"when that boy gets that look in his eyes i'm gonna be ready this time, ready to RUN!!"
posted by Cherise at 4:32 PM
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