can't i just hide away

so i, as everyone else did, started poundering the implications of Joanna's wedding. not that this is new for me since for the last two years my roomates have been engaged... haha watch out next year Jenny!! i think what shocked me most wasn't the shock of it, but that i wasn't shocked at all. i don't find it weird that someone who is like me (well sorta) is getting married. my whole life i've always had some good excuses why i didn't want a relationship; i don't want to stay in winkler, i don't know where my life is going, i just don't want to get married, i need to find out who i am....... the sad thing is that i've ran out of excuses. i love my life!!! i know sorta what i want to do and where i'm gonna be. i feel centred, ok i have done too much yoga, ok... like at peace and content. i'm excited for things and i don't want to stand still on any front, but i'm no longer anxious about anything. there is nothing that i need to do, but many things i'd like to do. i realized today that it's been almost a month since the end of my last relationship, meaning i'm almost off the "rebound time" and back on "the market". no joke within 5minutes of this realization this guy starts talking to me at the bus stop, now i know he wasn't hitting on me (not that i would be able to tell if he was), but still i was freaking out. it's weird i got to school and it was like guys could smell it or something, i got more looks then ever.
so here i am ready and waiting... for who, is the perfect guy out there? yep. i'm certain now! i know what i like and what i want and i've seen it. a little side note, but wow guys with lip rings are just soooo HOT. i think the metal and the cold would suck in winter, but wow soo worth it.
it's so weird to see guys and think... ya you're what i'm looking for. or yep you're the type of guy i could marry... oh dear!! and now i just want to run and hide, b/c i see them and sometimes i think they might see me : i could meet him now or 5 years from now, i don't know.
i'm gonna stay home and hide from now on!!